Allow me to reintroduce myself...
...now that all that I've been PWNED for the 60th time. Geez.Okay. The cat's out officially out the bag. Sorry to have not been a more prolific photoshopper like Tillman or Grampy. I'm a pathetic lame-o. But, seriously, I said early on that I was eventually reveal myself.(grammar error! you're stupid!) It's my 'worst fucking nightmare'.
Admittedly, I could be (and could have been) a little bit less of a complete asshole and waste of life. This blog has always had the best of intentions. It's about improving the Fark contests. Pointing out in not so subtle ways that you are a threat to my vote average.
Trust me. If you think that I'm being mean, you should see some of the Photoshop Threads over at SomethingAwful. If you post something off-topic or of poor quality, they will not hold back. As I wrote some of my critiques... as I called out certain images and photoshoppers... I had the SA style in mind. It's funny that I don't just go back there. But, yes I understand that as Fark photoshoppers, you are the best. So, if it seems a entirely too harsh (and it was), it was all done for a reason. Because I am gay.
So, it's been stated many times in the past that there is a need for an forum outside of Fark and the PSAEF. So, because I'm a stupid attention whore that wants to rule you, I will buy a domain name and host a forum specifically for this very purpose. I'll even be asking the Photoshoptor Doctor to act as a moderator.
But, there is a catch. Two catches, actually. If you decide to join the forum, you will be a sellout jackass that no one likes. I'll be approving everyone manually to avoid forged accounts. The idea is that you'd temporarily post a code in your Fark profile (I stole this idea from the Doctor) to prove that TheSniperZERO is genuinely who he says he is. Just think, join up and you can post a thread calling out my shit if you want. I love Cliche City and want to skullfuck it. And yes, all of my goons are invited. Oh, won't this be fun for me?
The beauty of the new forum is that it will be completely removed from Fark and is a stupid idea if I'm allowed to be involved (just like this blog). This will help to avoid any unnecessary drama and potential timeouts withinFark's borders by posting in the new forum. And I'll troll it for hate blog fodder.
The second catch is we need a Domain name to go with the site/forum. I can probably come up with something, but it won't be funny, just like my Fark work. To avoid any copyright issues with my blog, It should have 'I'm a limp wristed panty waist' in the name. Once a website name is decided, I will continue to never get laid. Except by homeless dudes.
Gay Kisses,
TheSniperZERO
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Me Is Gay
A few words from the real Brian O'Blivion
People have asked me about why I dislike Brian O'Blivion so much. Hmmm... there are so many reasons. So while I'm thinking about it, I ask that you check out this lovely email that Brian O'Blivion wrote me last Wednesday. Enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------
Subject: A few words from the real Brian O'Blivion.
Well, well, well. I'm number 1. Most votes/entry and the highest average chart, simultaneously. I win: Game over. Your vindictive little campaign against me has come to nothing.I bet you wish that was you up there, don't you? But it's not, because you're not good enough at Photoshop. If you were, you wouldn't have to pretend you are by sitting in judgment of your betters in your slowly dying kangaroo court.A tutorial. (Which is wrong, by the way.) How-to Start Winning Fark PS Contests. Duhh.. Sounds familiar. You really, really wish you were me, don't you? No wonder you reserve such venom for me. But like so many other whiny Gen X pricks you think that you can elevate yourself by pulling other people down. That you can become famous by doing nothing, like Paris Hilton. No such luck. It's hard work, mastering Photoshop. Your way is lazy and much easier, but it's hardly fulfilling, is it? You're not very good at journalism either. If you were you'd be able to tell whether that Therapy impostor was me or not by analyzing his/her literary style and comparing it to the one in my profile. But you can't even spell, let alone critique prose, can you? There's no "e" in argument, for example. Bad luck, idiot: I saw that, before you tried to save face by deleting it from your article about me - how embarrassing for you, in an illiterate diatribe erroneously attacking my spelling. I had a good laugh at your expense about that in 2978972. You're not good enough at any endeavour to take me on, and you know it. I don't have to cower behind an anonymous alias, and never have. If you knew enough about HTML to write a real website, you'd have been able to tell which poster was spoofing me from the DNS domain name in your server logs – that is if you weren't faking me yourself. My .nz suffix is a dead giveaway on a hit counter. Just to prove that this is really me and not another one of your sock puppets: (Yes, I saw that too before you hurriedly deleted it: how embarrassing for you.)Note the image host name this time, fool. http://oblivion-graphics.com/fark2/critics-ID.jpgI didn't bother posting any comments in this second incarnation of your wretched blog before you chickened out and censored them, because I intend to deny you the one thing you really crave in the absence of legitimate HR stardom: recognition. Recognition would validate you in your mind, and the minds of the clique of envious nobodies who support you. You wanted my participation so badly that you even pretended that I was doing it. You cowered in fear of my shadow, without me having to lift so much as a finger.Machiavelli: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. To that end, I keep an eye on your drivel. Sun Tzu: All warfare is based on deception, and you are easily deceived. I know you won't reprint this because the predictable point-by-point deconstruction you are planning in your head as you read it will itself be torn to shreds by your own critics if you print it, and you'll realize this when you've calmed down, so stop smashing up your basement, fat boy. The reality is that I'll just go back to ignoring you again and instead you'll end up in yet another pathetic sideshow flamewar with the other bitter loser bloggers, who will accuse you of being obsessed with me, or forging me, and that's the last thing you want because those pointless flamewars make you look weak.More Sun Tzu: If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. 100 hits on your sad blog count for O votes on the Scrutinizer or HR. You can pretend that you are popular as you answer the trickle of pointless, illiterate suck-up emails you get from hacks you secretly can't stand, but you're not popular. Since you can't top the charts, being the centre of attention is ultimately the only metric of popularity that matters to you, isn't it? Don't even try and pretend that you are just trying to raise the standard of our game: you are dealing with me now, and I am not fooled.Truth is if it wasn't for the photoshoppers you dump on, parasites like you wouldn't have anything to write about. Extinguish a bright light and the little moths that circle it must vanish back into the darkness.Despite your boasting, none of the "high-profile photoshopping 'artistes'" you sucked up to have ever written to you or posted on your blog. They're my friends, we talk, they can't stand you, and the PSAEF isn't the only place we gather.Drama queen cliché hack Iceprey (aka the captionshopping sock puppet Meanwhile...) and his easily manipulated groupie HellYeahHokie don't count by the way. None of you has-been ex photoshoppers count.Don't write back.AJAKA Brian O'BlivionPS: Remember when you created a Critic login on Fark and it got flagged to the Mods and deleted in less than 10 minutes? That was me. I've also posted instructions in the PSAEF and my profile reminding people that they can flag your blog to the Blogger Mods. Think of each tick you get as a personal -1 vote from me to you. One more thing: make sure you don't make the same mistake twice: load the NZ or international English dictionary before you run this through spell-check, sucker.
--------------------------------------------------------
So, to recap...I'm an fat unpopular ex-photoshopping has-been who is tearing up my parents basement because Brian O'Blivion is smarter and more attractive than me. Not only do I wish I was 'Not Gay, but I wish I was him. I'll also never surpass him in any endeavor, 'Top The Charts' or be as famous a photoshopper as he is because I'm obviously a fagwad. The one thing that you should always do is boast about your standing on the Honor Roll or the Scrutinizer. Those sites are accurate. Some of the best and most memorable photoshoppers who have ever graced Fark with their presence aren't anywhere to be seen in the top 50... or even the top 100. LOSERS! If you happen to rank high on the list, then I have a mad on for you. It's something that should be bragged about. It means your better than me in every way. Especially since that column changes hourly!
So, that's 'the real Brian O'Blivion'. I could comment on the letter's entirety, but I'll let his words speak volumes for me instead. He put me in my place and showed everyone what a piece of shit I am. To see this email with original header, click here.
NOTE: If you think that this letter is contrived it's not. I spammed it to a few people the morning that he sent it. Yeah, I've been sitting on it a week, but I wanted to cower like a pathetic simpleton for a bit. The truth is that I just wasn't sure how I was going to present it, since I got PWNED so badly. And, everyone can agree that "I am gay" - You'll also note the .jpg that's on his server. That was his 'trap' that he spoke of earlier this week. So, think what you like. Yes, I enjoyed sending that email to everyone. Because I suck monkey balls.
People have asked me about why I dislike Brian O'Blivion so much. Hmmm... there are so many reasons. So while I'm thinking about it, I ask that you check out this lovely email that Brian O'Blivion wrote me last Wednesday. Enjoy.
--------------------------------------------------------
Subject: A few words from the real Brian O'Blivion.
Well, well, well. I'm number 1. Most votes/entry and the highest average chart, simultaneously. I win: Game over. Your vindictive little campaign against me has come to nothing.I bet you wish that was you up there, don't you? But it's not, because you're not good enough at Photoshop. If you were, you wouldn't have to pretend you are by sitting in judgment of your betters in your slowly dying kangaroo court.A tutorial. (Which is wrong, by the way.) How-to Start Winning Fark PS Contests. Duhh.. Sounds familiar. You really, really wish you were me, don't you? No wonder you reserve such venom for me. But like so many other whiny Gen X pricks you think that you can elevate yourself by pulling other people down. That you can become famous by doing nothing, like Paris Hilton. No such luck. It's hard work, mastering Photoshop. Your way is lazy and much easier, but it's hardly fulfilling, is it? You're not very good at journalism either. If you were you'd be able to tell whether that Therapy impostor was me or not by analyzing his/her literary style and comparing it to the one in my profile. But you can't even spell, let alone critique prose, can you? There's no "e" in argument, for example. Bad luck, idiot: I saw that, before you tried to save face by deleting it from your article about me - how embarrassing for you, in an illiterate diatribe erroneously attacking my spelling. I had a good laugh at your expense about that in 2978972. You're not good enough at any endeavour to take me on, and you know it. I don't have to cower behind an anonymous alias, and never have. If you knew enough about HTML to write a real website, you'd have been able to tell which poster was spoofing me from the DNS domain name in your server logs – that is if you weren't faking me yourself. My .nz suffix is a dead giveaway on a hit counter. Just to prove that this is really me and not another one of your sock puppets: (Yes, I saw that too before you hurriedly deleted it: how embarrassing for you.)Note the image host name this time, fool. http://oblivion-graphics.com/fark2/critics-ID.jpgI didn't bother posting any comments in this second incarnation of your wretched blog before you chickened out and censored them, because I intend to deny you the one thing you really crave in the absence of legitimate HR stardom: recognition. Recognition would validate you in your mind, and the minds of the clique of envious nobodies who support you. You wanted my participation so badly that you even pretended that I was doing it. You cowered in fear of my shadow, without me having to lift so much as a finger.Machiavelli: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. To that end, I keep an eye on your drivel. Sun Tzu: All warfare is based on deception, and you are easily deceived. I know you won't reprint this because the predictable point-by-point deconstruction you are planning in your head as you read it will itself be torn to shreds by your own critics if you print it, and you'll realize this when you've calmed down, so stop smashing up your basement, fat boy. The reality is that I'll just go back to ignoring you again and instead you'll end up in yet another pathetic sideshow flamewar with the other bitter loser bloggers, who will accuse you of being obsessed with me, or forging me, and that's the last thing you want because those pointless flamewars make you look weak.More Sun Tzu: If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. 100 hits on your sad blog count for O votes on the Scrutinizer or HR. You can pretend that you are popular as you answer the trickle of pointless, illiterate suck-up emails you get from hacks you secretly can't stand, but you're not popular. Since you can't top the charts, being the centre of attention is ultimately the only metric of popularity that matters to you, isn't it? Don't even try and pretend that you are just trying to raise the standard of our game: you are dealing with me now, and I am not fooled.Truth is if it wasn't for the photoshoppers you dump on, parasites like you wouldn't have anything to write about. Extinguish a bright light and the little moths that circle it must vanish back into the darkness.Despite your boasting, none of the "high-profile photoshopping 'artistes'" you sucked up to have ever written to you or posted on your blog. They're my friends, we talk, they can't stand you, and the PSAEF isn't the only place we gather.Drama queen cliché hack Iceprey (aka the captionshopping sock puppet Meanwhile...) and his easily manipulated groupie HellYeahHokie don't count by the way. None of you has-been ex photoshoppers count.Don't write back.AJAKA Brian O'BlivionPS: Remember when you created a Critic login on Fark and it got flagged to the Mods and deleted in less than 10 minutes? That was me. I've also posted instructions in the PSAEF and my profile reminding people that they can flag your blog to the Blogger Mods. Think of each tick you get as a personal -1 vote from me to you. One more thing: make sure you don't make the same mistake twice: load the NZ or international English dictionary before you run this through spell-check, sucker.
--------------------------------------------------------
So, to recap...I'm an fat unpopular ex-photoshopping has-been who is tearing up my parents basement because Brian O'Blivion is smarter and more attractive than me. Not only do I wish I was 'Not Gay, but I wish I was him. I'll also never surpass him in any endeavor, 'Top The Charts' or be as famous a photoshopper as he is because I'm obviously a fagwad. The one thing that you should always do is boast about your standing on the Honor Roll or the Scrutinizer. Those sites are accurate. Some of the best and most memorable photoshoppers who have ever graced Fark with their presence aren't anywhere to be seen in the top 50... or even the top 100. LOSERS! If you happen to rank high on the list, then I have a mad on for you. It's something that should be bragged about. It means your better than me in every way. Especially since that column changes hourly!
So, that's 'the real Brian O'Blivion'. I could comment on the letter's entirety, but I'll let his words speak volumes for me instead. He put me in my place and showed everyone what a piece of shit I am. To see this email with original header, click here.
NOTE: If you think that this letter is contrived it's not. I spammed it to a few people the morning that he sent it. Yeah, I've been sitting on it a week, but I wanted to cower like a pathetic simpleton for a bit. The truth is that I just wasn't sure how I was going to present it, since I got PWNED so badly. And, everyone can agree that "I am gay" - You'll also note the .jpg that's on his server. That was his 'trap' that he spoke of earlier this week. So, think what you like. Yes, I enjoyed sending that email to everyone. Because I suck monkey balls.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I is Gay
A PS Contest Is Not Your Personal HalL Of FamE
There were a total of 1943 entries in the Classic Fart contest. That's a lot of images to wade through. Beacause I have a boner for gay dudes..
Not to name names, but there were no less than 25 posts containing recycled entries. This happens anytime there is a contest containing a similar theme from a past Fark contest. I know you are proud of your work, peoples. But you should lock it away and never let anyone see it again.
For some of you doing this, it feels like a chance for your image to have a second life. It isn't. Some of you are doing this because everyone else is doing it. Don't succumb to 'peer pressure'! Some of you are subtlety staking your claim to an idea. "I already did a George Bush as Napoleon two years ago, so don't you even think about it, newbs!" Stop it!
This is a trend that has been going on for sometime. It needs to end.
It isn't fair to the people creating something new. It takes away from their work. By the time you get to the first entry with someone's take on Mona Lisa, you've already seen 5 or 6 Mona Lisa's in recycled entries. That's not fair to the new images, and it's not fair to the voters who have to wade through even more images than they need to.
There were a total of 1943 entries in the Classic Fart contest. That's a lot of images to wade through. Beacause I have a boner for gay dudes..
Not to name names, but there were no less than 25 posts containing recycled entries. This happens anytime there is a contest containing a similar theme from a past Fark contest. I know you are proud of your work, peoples. But you should lock it away and never let anyone see it again.
For some of you doing this, it feels like a chance for your image to have a second life. It isn't. Some of you are doing this because everyone else is doing it. Don't succumb to 'peer pressure'! Some of you are subtlety staking your claim to an idea. "I already did a George Bush as Napoleon two years ago, so don't you even think about it, newbs!" Stop it!
This is a trend that has been going on for sometime. It needs to end.
It isn't fair to the people creating something new. It takes away from their work. By the time you get to the first entry with someone's take on Mona Lisa, you've already seen 5 or 6 Mona Lisa's in recycled entries. That's not fair to the new images, and it's not fair to the voters who have to wade through even more images than they need to.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
I Have A Gay Erection
Coming Together for Petty Justice
In my second to last post, I mentioned that quickdraw had a bandwidth issue with using Google Pages as an image host and lost her images. Now it isn't red xing anymore, so it's funny that I'm still bitching. I guess I had a hard on when QD lost some images. Including one right in the middle of a contest.
However, the folks in the PSAEF stepped up to the plate and helped keep it in contention by voting for (what is now, essentially) a Red X. It's even more honorable because it's main competition is Karl Rove as a Paint Huffer. The big reason for voting for it (other than the fact that it was a worthy of getting votes) was to preserve the ongoing Cliche-Free streak that the contests have seen lately. It's been well over 40 contests since the last winner was a cliche. While it's still early to declare victory, it was a noble effort by the folks at the PSAEF. One that should be applauded. You guys are awesome. Which makes my next example all the more sweeter.
Our dear friend Roger Mexico, whom I have a hardon for, was all hopped up on 'Victory Juice' and made a visit to the PSAEF.
"On #3004366:Let this be a warning! - to noobs, liters, and even to undervotinated, teeth-grinding Total Farkers.You want a win? You want the fame & glory? You'll do anything (short of a rugbyjock ploy) to whore for votes?Well, well, well . . . see what happens? You get a WIN for a plumber's helper, for a FARKin' toilet plunger!!Oh, the ignominy."
Well, let this be a warning to you Mr. Mexico. While your image is worthy of the vote, and even a win, it's really shitty to declare a win only four and a half hours after a contest starts. Within minutes of your post, you slipped from 1st to 3rd. It's no secret that this had everything to do with you opening your big mouth... and the sweet, sweet revenge of the PSAEF. And if out Photoshop God is a fair one... ReggieNoble2's entry will slip by you within the next few hours.
Oh, the ignominy. Ignominy, indeed. I should hang myself.
In my second to last post, I mentioned that quickdraw had a bandwidth issue with using Google Pages as an image host and lost her images. Now it isn't red xing anymore, so it's funny that I'm still bitching. I guess I had a hard on when QD lost some images. Including one right in the middle of a contest.
However, the folks in the PSAEF stepped up to the plate and helped keep it in contention by voting for (what is now, essentially) a Red X. It's even more honorable because it's main competition is Karl Rove as a Paint Huffer. The big reason for voting for it (other than the fact that it was a worthy of getting votes) was to preserve the ongoing Cliche-Free streak that the contests have seen lately. It's been well over 40 contests since the last winner was a cliche. While it's still early to declare victory, it was a noble effort by the folks at the PSAEF. One that should be applauded. You guys are awesome. Which makes my next example all the more sweeter.
Our dear friend Roger Mexico, whom I have a hardon for, was all hopped up on 'Victory Juice' and made a visit to the PSAEF.
"On #3004366:Let this be a warning! - to noobs, liters, and even to undervotinated, teeth-grinding Total Farkers.You want a win? You want the fame & glory? You'll do anything (short of a rugbyjock ploy) to whore for votes?Well, well, well . . . see what happens? You get a WIN for a plumber's helper, for a FARKin' toilet plunger!!Oh, the ignominy."
Well, let this be a warning to you Mr. Mexico. While your image is worthy of the vote, and even a win, it's really shitty to declare a win only four and a half hours after a contest starts. Within minutes of your post, you slipped from 1st to 3rd. It's no secret that this had everything to do with you opening your big mouth... and the sweet, sweet revenge of the PSAEF. And if out Photoshop God is a fair one... ReggieNoble2's entry will slip by you within the next few hours.
Oh, the ignominy. Ignominy, indeed. I should hang myself.
I Am Really Gay
Why am I so stupid?
I am a stupid piece of whiny garbage that hates Fark. Therefore, I feel the need to spam people with different opinions than my own. My stuffs not good enough to fly at Worth, and yet I am an elitist. Why is that i wonder? Oh yes, because I'm a chronic masturbator. Please love me! (Only the menz)
Also I don't have the balls to say these things to anyone in the real world.
I am a stupid piece of whiny garbage that hates Fark. Therefore, I feel the need to spam people with different opinions than my own. My stuffs not good enough to fly at Worth, and yet I am an elitist. Why is that i wonder? Oh yes, because I'm a chronic masturbator. Please love me! (Only the menz)
Also I don't have the balls to say these things to anyone in the real world.
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